Antsy

I think I've become more cynical over the last year. Despite my best efforts. I smile, even when I really don't want to. A genuine smile. I still see the good in all things. I'm not naive, just a positive person in general.  My 30s have yet to find balance. So much to do, no time.  And, are they really things I Really Want to do?  I think so, for the most part....
There's so much greed and sadness in the world right now.  And the world is much smaller than it use to be. Instant everything. I found myself longing for TV, like it was. I want to wait to watch a show when it came on at 7pm, that being my only chance. So, I signed up for a TV service on the internet (we got rid of cable years ago). I was excited to fulfill this itch. The first night revealed a multitude of commercials and cut out, sped up shows and movies.  Not what I was looking for.
I miss just painting and drawing.  I miss generating creative ideas, for no other reason, but for art's sake. I miss having time to explore my mind's musings. I use to do it with the TV on in the background, just filling noise. I find I can't do that with instant viewing. Why, I haven't figured out yet.
I play music, all the time, but it has lost its everything it had too (wow, that's a lot of "it"s in one sentence).  I go through music era spurts. Currently, I'm fading from 60-70's rock to 40's big band/vinyl. Nothing is satisfying the itch....

I'm antsy.....